#1 - Self Flagellation

Wealthy, well-educated white people love to hate wealthy, well-educated white people who preceded them. And with good reason: From bombarding indigenous Americans with smallpox blankets to enslaving Kunta Kente, wealthy educated white people have been doing disgusting things for generations. While 98% of today’s white people have never owned Kunta Kente or given an infected blanket to an Indian, white people who work at colleges teach their students that they are, in fact, responsible for those who have. Since white people pursuing college degrees idolize white people who already have them, they internalize this guilt. Much time is dedicated to finding creative ways to blame themselves for bad things like dirty floors, the prevalence of Mexican janitors, and the underrepresentation of white people in federal penitentiaries.

As a result, white people enjoy jokes at their expense. They enjoy comedy that draws attention to their inability to keep rhythm, swagger, drive, eat spicy foods, roll their R’s, or jump. “Stuff White People Like” capitalizes on this desire for self-flagellation, and, like the pasty white masochistic monk in the DaVinci Code, they flock to the blog in hopes of finding ever more sensational methods of murdering their self-esteem.