#3 - The Assumption of Atheism

Advanced white people have shed their forefathers' burdens, shunning quaint superstitions like Christianity, Jesus, and forms of Judaism in which Jon Stewart is not the primary deity. Stuff White People Like capitalizes on these atheist preferences, boldly declaring that advanced white people will “believe any religion that doesn’t involve Jesus.”

Most White People Are Christian

But try telling that to Premier George W. Bush, renowned white person and Christian revivalist.

Or the town of Redding, California, where the parishioners of Bethel [Jesus-loving] Church think Jesus miraculously heals visitors to their church--as long as the drop some coins in the till.

Or Michael Moore, who confuzzled millions of atheist white people when he dubbed 2004's Red States “Jesusland.”

Or the state of Utah.