Sunday, April 13, 2008

#4 - Eurocentrism (re: #95 - Rugby)

Let's be honest - no one plays Rugby.
Not even white people. It's a poor man's football--almost literally, since the pads, helmets, and goalposts required to play a proper football game easily amounts to a few thousand dollars.
But despite the fact that no one plays Rugby, there is a small contingent of Europeans who cling to this muddy "sport" out of a sense of nostalgia for the time when the sun never set on the British Empire. (Today, the sun ALWAYS sets on the British Empire, as England is cloaked in a perpetual foggy mist composed of fumes from the decaying corpse of their colonial glory.)

After decades of deriding Europe (colonialists! Imperialists! Oppressors of the Third World!), advanced white people have decided everything Europe (except nuclear power) is cool again. Rugby most definitely falls into that category. Rugby is not to be confused with football, since white people's fetishizing of European English means they will interpret all sports in a European context. Football is not football, and soccer is not a word. For fun, try these on for size:

  • Mention you'd like to toss around a "football" with a white person and he'll scold you for touching the soccer ball with your hands.
  • Order "chips" and he'll hand you fries.
  • Ask for a "fry" and he'll give you his small statuette from Futurama.
Besides being wrong, the post on "Stuff White People Like" is just flat-out racist; The best Rugby team in the world is not white, but rather All Blacks.


helenalex said...

Yeah, the French love of rugby is definetely based on nostalgia for the British Empire. Or by 'Europe', do you actually mean 'Britain' or 'England'?

Governor said...

The French don't love rugby.